I found the baby photo albums this morning. Of course, any excuse to stop…I settled in to the sofa to spend some time reminiscing. I always look at pictures from this time with surprise. Like a spectator trying to understand the family I am seeing. At the time I was barely functioning; so sleep deprived and anxious that my memories are a blurry fuzz. But in the photos, that mother. She looks so happy, so …together. She is holding her babies, smiling and laughing. There are baby bath shots, feeding shots, solids, walking, play time and coffee group shots. Family time and baking and washing folding and all the hallmark Mummy Activities. But Mummy was acting. I remember how it really was, inside my head. I just wanted to cry, with as much feeling as my babies did. Sometimes, I was scarily detached even from my own distress. Sometimes I just felt empty and dead inside, at a time when I knew my babies needed me to feel connected and certain. Looking back I can see how it all happened as it did. There was big stuff going on. My own mother ... click here to read on
What does a good relationship look like when you are parents?
It’s probably a bit different to what it looked like before the kids arrived. Like, an interplanetary timewarp, different. Same people, different planet. Whole new meaning for the word ‘good’.
These days I think love has smoodged over to make room for something pretty important. Like. Those two together are what I call a successful relationship when you are parents. I love you, and dammit, I choose remember why I like you, too.
If you are embarking on the Small Person Years; the post-nappy, ‘I’m a big kid now’ era, take heart. You may have a child like my first, who announced that she didn't want to wear night nappies anymore. “OK,”I reasoned, “If you can go for a week with a dry night nappy, you won’t have to wear them anymore”. And so it was. Just like that, bless her little cottons. Or your child might be in night nappies or pull-ups for a good deal of their childhood. Or somewhere in between the two. It is a truth universally understood that they won’t be wearing them by the time they are at University. Exhale. My son recently had a whole class sleepover at school. I was so nervous about the bed wet thing. I brought it up with the teacher who said that it was very normal for kids this age to need pull ups. Many would be sending their child’s pull-ups in with their jarmies. It was so reassuring to hear that my kid wasn’t the only one. If he was my only child, I think I would be quick to blame my parenting failings. But he’s not, so I know that this is less about what you do as a parent than about the individual child’s development. It’s a big relief to know that. Maybe you needed to read that today. It’s not about you.
So aside from acceptance, and giving yourself a break, there are some things you can do to ease the stress of bed wetting. read on ...